So I have stuff to say and opinions to express. Just a matter of getting started right? Make a whole big fuzz about blogging again and then not write anything. What kind of a thing to do is that…
Well, weekend was super busy, no joke.
Today was a great monday though and I posted a bit on Instagram, so have a look there why won’t you my name is wwwaddell.
I also got a chance to workout on my lunch break. A HIIT class. I did not do well… But I did it!
It’s not even the question of what day it is, but if it’s day or night? Changing the clocks doesn’t help. But it did generously give an extra hour. Baby didn’t know that though.
A tiny soft hand on top of mine, exploring. Need to cut his nails. Need to do it when he’s sleeping. Don’t want to wake him. His little hand lets go of mine and slowly falls to the pillow. Resting over his head. He’s falling asleep. He’s been sleeping so much. He must be exhausted from all the new stuff he’s been busy learning and training, perfecting all his waking hour. Rolling to his tummy, looking around. Registering items, colours and movements. Rolling back. Roll back to tummy again straight away. It must be more fun on this side, it’s not, he cries. Dad helps him back to his back, which he knows how to do very well, but he’s too exhausted now. As soon as he’s on his back his hands moves up to his eyes. A centimeter from his face. Intently studying, touching. Won’t take a break and just be, have to learn and practice. Every waking hour. Falls back asleep.
Sleeps for hours. Two is long but normal for day sleep, three, four hours though? He must be so tired. Starting to wake up. Rocking the cradle with movements. Stretching. Making noises. Then still and quiet. Taking forever to wake up. Dad sits by the cot. Waiting. Waiting for that smile and those curious, ever-studying eyes. Waiting for it to start all over again.
Clocks forward, clocks backwards. Here all the clocks are on baby time.
It’s been ten weeks since Aiden was born. So much has happened. My most important job every day is to be a mother. This can consist of twenty minutes of trying to fish out nose snot from very narrow nostrils. Build a baby gym, just to tear it down cause it wasn’t up to baby’s standard. Take cute photos and just pick one to go on instagram so that people don’t think I’m too lame. Try to get a smile photo (still unsuccessfully). And a lot of other fun stuff.
I had a headache all day today. And the weather was grey. I think there’s a connection. I was going to see a friend in town but had to cancel. I hate cancelling. I even dreamt about it after. But what can you do.
I went for my post birth check up today. Went well. Although she said I shouldn’t start running until after at least six months. Since we’re going into winter anyway, I guess my running revival will be spring time. I miss running.
It’s been six years since Madeleine McCann disappeared. But it’s still makes me cry when I hear about that night. Yesterday Crimewatch presented new leads and what the UK detectives have come up with in their investigation. We watched parts of it. And when I got up in the night to feed I felt really scared and anxious. I had a nightmare last night as well. I felt like I’d watched a horror movie. But as always – reality beats fiction. I know children fare badly all around the world every day, Madeleine represents them all. HOW, can someone take a child…? How can you not go insane as a parent not knowing what has happened? I hope they find out. Please find her soon. It just makes your stomach turn upside down when you think of all the things that could have happened to her. She’s old enough to contact her parents herself soon, if she’s alive… I just hope her parents find answers soon. It must be a never-ending nightmare. And it must be so frustrating that it’s taken so long to get a proper investigation of the events! How they have fought for their daughter…
As a new parent, these dangers have moved even closer. It’s an evil world. Even if the majority of people wants to live peacefully and safe. The cruel, messed up minority of sick humans are really making the whole world a dangerous and unsafe place. It’s sickening and hard to completely comprehend.
I was thinking the other day that I never set my alarm anymore. Sometimes that is spoken about like the dream scenario… Like paradise, you know, the perfect stress free life – living life without an alarm. Then I realised I do have an alarm. It goes off every 2 hours and there’s no snooze button. It doesn’t just go off in the mornings, it goes off 24/7, every 1-2 hours or the longest 3 hours. That’s when the little man lets me know he has to eat now!
Seeing this written down and thinking about the fact that a proper sleep-in is so far away from me at this stage in life is a bit freaky. To know I won’t sleep a full nights sleep for a very long time is kind of depressing. Especially since I love sleep-ins.
Somehow, in reality, it’s not that bad. Sure, sometimes I fall asleep at 4am with my head hanging over Aiden’s breastfeeding face and then wake up and see him staring at me with a frowny face. And yes, I do drink coffee by the liter nowadays. And I’ve realised the Swedish expression to be so tired you’re cross-eyed is not just an expression. But besides that, I think these hormones you get when breastfeeding that is supposed to make your sleep more efficiently must be doing the trick, because without it I would be dead by now. Or maybe it’s just that this little man is making it all worthwhile. Gah, such a cliché.
The day after Aiden was born Jon called him a tortoise because of the way he was moving his neck. I was reminded of that today when we practise him on his tummy and he looked like this…
His head has grown so much that his hair isn’t covering all of it anymore. Receding hairline att five weeks…
It’s not just the tortoise working out, so did I yesterday. The warmup felt like the workout… I’m so out of shape! But I tried. Today my pelvic floor is hurting and my “abs”. Hope it’s not a sign that I started too early… It is exercises aimed at women recovering from child birth.
All that’s my update. I will proceed to sleep for an hour or two until “the hungry” wakes up. See you laters!
It’s really hard to get anything done with a baby. As most of you will know. The days just go by, Aiden’s five weeks already. The days are just made up by basic stuff and once in a while you get something else in. Yesterday we went to Västerås for the day. Jon met up with his old UK boss about potentially working for them in the future. Me and Aiden took a walk around town and bought two nursing tops and some hair dye (when will I have the time to do that tho?). On the way home we went pass Ikea for some lunch and looked around. For the first time in my life we left Ikea without buying ANYTHING (except lunch in the restaurant)!
Our diet is not going as good this week as last, as we cheated a bit yesterday and today. But the key is not to give up though and we’re being balanced about it. Need to weigh myself and measure to see how things are going as well. I have made my workout schedule as well, but haven’t got started yet as yesterday and today was too busy. Today was only a walk on the schedule and even if I didn’t get that in I was running around a lot today anyway.
My workout schedule is based on Olga Rönnberg‘s schedule from her book. It’s meant for women recovering from childbirth. I’m really looking forward to getting started!
Last night went really well after all. He only woke me up every the hours and was easy to put to sleep. I even got up earlier than usual this morning. Usually I let Jon take him and I snooze until the next feed.
We spent the afternoon today with Pernilla and Iris. Sebbe is away this weekend working on his band’s album.
And I got Pernillas pictures from the photo shoot of Aiden! Haven’t even gone through them all yet, but the ones I’ve seen are so cute. Can’t wait to share!
One of the best things about moving back to Sweden and Nykping is to be close to this lovely family. I haven’t lived in the same city as my sister since I was 21. And we’ve always been in different places in our lives. For the first time it feels like we’re in the same place sort of. Not that it necessarily matters, but it just feels like a good time to be close. And it doesn’t hurt that she comes in a package with 2 other wonderful people.
I read in a book we got from the babycenter that it’s only parents that expect their babies to sleep all night that seems to think their baby has a sleep problem. I.e. babies are supposed to wake up at night. Aiden included. The night before last he was up most of the night and he was really upset and making a fuss about everything. He was fighting the feeding even though that’s exactly what he wants and he did not want to sleep anywhere else than in your arms. Which causes a problem as it’s hard for parents to get sleep with a baby in their arms.
Last night though he was a bit more relaxed, probably because he got some good sleep in and wasn’t so super tired. He did wake up every 2 hours for a feed, but at least he fed without fuss and he did go back to sleep. Only once in his cot, the rest of the night he spent between me and Jon. Which is fine he’s only 3 weeks. I’m just pleased he sleeps without having to be in your arms because that’s not a winning concept.
Babies don’t stabilize their sleep until 3-4 months apparently. So we better just get used to it. I’ve got a book to read during night time feeds (though sometimes I’m too tired), there’s nighttime TV as well. So it’s just a matter of getting with the program and accept our new reality as parents.
This morning auntie Abbey left to go back to Mallorca, yesterday grandma left to go back to England. So all our visitors have left for now. And it’s back to just the 3 of us.
I’m making use of the time this morning when Aiden fell asleep and looks so peaceful, to blog a bit and get some other “household admin tasks” done. Tomorrow I’m going on a post-pregnancy diet. More about that later…