Winter melt down

Isn’t it just typical that the day after writing this very positive, ambitious post – I have the worst day… That’s reality I guess. Up & down.

I’ve been sleeping badly lately (unusually bad) due to Aiden being sick and waking up a lot and me not being able to unwind and fall asleep. I’ve felt eaten up by life to the extent that I’m not even thinking my own thoughts. Days of irritation finally lead to a break down when Aiden refused to eat because he’s nose was blocked and just screamed of frustration. And what’s the best solution? A crying mum throwing her mobile and stuff on the floor? Probably not, but hey we’re all human…

Realised that I need to go back to basics. Just be happy getting through a day, especially if we haven’t slept. I’ve felt great lately so I’ve snuck more and more into my days and more demands & pressure on myself without sensing when it’s enough. That in combination with wanting to be helpful to others have emptied the little reserves I had. That might be why my brain is working so hard at bedtime. But just in case I’ve cut down on coffee to one cup a day, in the morning, as well.

Now I just need to find out why Aiden wakes up at 4am expecting to be up and play. It’s a bit inconvenient.

I need to keep a closer eye on myself and recognise signs of me getting stressed, to remind myself that I need to take a step back. It’s not nice when you feel you’re losing control and that you physically feel dizzy and feel like you have a helmet squeezing your head tighter and tighter. It can’t be healthy!

It’s boring and lame to have to cut down, as I want to do more in a day. But I can’t right now – sleep and health is most important.

Today we went for a walk to the store, it’s freezing cold here in Sweden right now. My thighs are still hurting from the cold. This only though we just took a short walk as Aiden’s still not well from his cold.

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