Oh my life is busy. But not at all as busy as it’s about to be. I got a job! Which is pretty amazing, as I haven’t even actively been looking for one. The 17th next month I’ll be starting as a Developer at a local small company. I don’t know much about the role, I have a feeling it will be varied and it will push me, but also that I can add value to it. I’m excited and nervous (as should be).
All the above would be the same regardless of my current life situation. You are nervous and excited when starting a new job always. But of course, leaving Aiden (who will be 7 half months) will be hard. I realise this. But it’s hard now already trying to “make the best” of this time before I start. Besides the most important; making the best out of this time at home with Aiden I also would like to;
Roll out my new wwwaddell.com design
Roll out a new website idea I have (in Swedish)
Lots of stuff around the house (clean out wardrobe, re-organise kitchen, clean out storage spaces…)
Make schedules (my favourite thing to do)
Plan foods for me and Aiden so that we don’t fall out of our good routines. And I’m feeding Aiden a vegan diet so far, so takes a bit of planning and thinking to make foods with everything he needs.
The above will stress me out, if trying to get this all done in 2 weeks. Along with trying to work out, care for Aiden, study, spend some time with my husbandand all that everyday stuff.
Oh and the SLEEP! Forgot to tell you about the sleep. Remember we trained him? Well he slept for like a week, then something happened and he started waking up so upset. It was just a couple of times a night so I let him, but that grew and grew and we ended up waking up every other hour again, and I fed him. The day before yesterday I took my brother-in-law to fetch their car and we started talking about the kids and sleep and how you sometimes createÂ problems by making it easy for yourself in the night – for me that would be feeding Aiden everything he wakes up. Also, he’s eating LOADS. He never seems to be full. Anyway, I talked to Jon and we decided we’d try, well simply not feeding him in the night more than once at around 24. He goes to bed 19:30 (which is a routing that has worked amazingly well since the training, he almost always falls asleep straight away) and he might wake up before 12, but then we just give him the dummy and to my surprise – he falls asleep. Maybe some whining but after a while he falls back asleep. Silly me (again). Anyway, this is a far better routine for me now when I’m going back to work! Hope it lasts this time, if not – we have to return to basics and try again.
What else is new with Aiden? A bottom tooth has appeared and he’s started making this face a lot:
It seems spring is arriving. I worked for the first day after maternity leave last week. I went from nothing to eight hours hard-core cleaning.
Today I had an interview for another job, a job doing what I do. Not sure what it will lead to yet.
Today I also noticed one bottom tooth of Aiden’s is starting to come out.
So yeah, life is happening. I don’t just want to, but I have to, cut my hair soon.
The thirty-day plant-based diet challenge came and went, it did what I hoped and I’m continuing without complaints. It’s a nice way of eating. I feel like I’m being very kind to myself and my body on it.
My favorite side right now is sweet potato fries (baked) and a red pepper cream.
We went to see my paternal grandma the other day. She’s in a home for people with Alzheimer’s and she’s pretty far along her disease.
It’s a funny thing though, growing up I never had a good relationship with her. I remember this short story I wrote once about the anger and almost hate I felt towards her. In my childhood eyes she was an enemy of our family, someone spreading lies and gossip. Anyway, I don’t really want to get into that too much as it was a long time ago and I was a child. For years and years she was no part of my life at all because of all this. When it became clear she was suffering from this horrible disease though, it changed things. It might even explain things of the past (see, who knows how long she’s been suffering from it.)
My mum and dad has been so good at visiting her several times a week since she moved to this home, setting a great example of what honoring your parents in their old age is all about. I’ve been wanting to do the same, but time has just not been there. My goal is to make it into a routine of visiting. Even if I know she won’t remember we’ve actually been there, I am convinced the feelings of having the visits will make a lasting impression.
But also, the way my parents handles the situation and the way they forgive and forget the past and take their responsibility as children to care for and be thereÂ when it really matters,Â not just when there’s a personal gain involved, has made such a huge impression on me. I wish I can give Aiden the same example of respecting elderly relatives, being self-sacrificing without expecting anything in return and seeing to others social need.
She was so impressed by Aidens clothes (“Real clothes” she said, I guess meaning he didn’t have baby clothes on, as she also said he looks like a “little old man”). And also, she kept asking me who I am. Then she said; “How old are you?” I said; “32”. We had that conversation a few times and when we were leaving and she asked me again and I said I was 32 she laughed and said; “What? You don’t look like you’re more 20-something”. SWEEET! She doesn’t have a social filter so I guess she’s right – he he he!
I was looking at old photos in her flat. Everytime I look at her oldest daughter, she said; “That girl is not alive anymore”. Of course, I knew this already. I knew that this girl past away soon after the photo was taken with my dad and his twin. Only four years of age. She’s so pretty and it’s so sad even though it was so many years ago. And it must have hit her so hard, as she keeps having those thoughts pop up in her failing memory about the daughter she lost.
I have so much to blog about. Seriously. So many thoughts all day long and my blog itch kicks in. But then; nothing. I really need to find a way to actually get the posts out on the actual blog. To get it into words and collect my thoughts. I guess it’s because I keep getting interrupted by everyday life all the time.
Also, I have 2 or 3 things that I would like to get finished unrelated to the blog, that are really starting to irritate me now. It’s constantly a stress and I know I would feel so much better getting it done and “archived”, outta the way. But as soon as I get a bit of time over to maybe do a little towards finishing it off – I DON’T FEEL LIKE DOING IT. How frustrating!
I feel like I’m running around all day long like a headless chicken. Busy all the time but not getting anything done. Spending so much time in the kitchen nowadays as well. When my friend Mattias was here he commented on the fact that I was in the kitchen busy with stuff all the time. He’s right.
And it’s not just cooking. Because of all the cooking our kitchen look like a war zone at least once every day. Minus the blood. (As there’s no meat anymore – get it?!) I feel like all I do is pack and unpack the dishwasher. I want a maid. So I can just cook, experiment, make a mess and then someone else comes in and clean it all up while I’m busy enjoying the food with my family. My time is too precious to clean kitchens, or any other part of my house for that matter. I need to outsource. Hehe…
I’ve tried so many nice recipes and haven’t shared any with you. Both food and niceties. Made these chia seed cookies full of protein and chocolate, well raw cacao. Made some weird tasting ice cream (having another try tonight with a different recipe and our ice cream maker – I have to use it I dragged it here all the way from the UK, just to find one exactly the same at Lidl.)
My favourite right now (and even before this “challenge” thing) is fried mushrooms. Jon usually reminds me; “I thought you didn’t like mushrooms?”. When we met I didn’t really. I guess I hadn’t eaten them enough, or maybe I had a bad experience with canned mushrooms, not sure why I felt it wasn’t for me, glad I gave it another try. This is great though; some mushrooms fried in olive oil, chili flakes, garlic pepper and sea salt. LOVELY!
PS. When trying to write this post I have been interrupted numerous times, for example by a poo diaper.