It’s been ten weeks since Aiden was born. So much has happened. My most important job every day is to be a mother. This can consist of twenty minutes of trying to fish out nose snot from very narrow nostrils. Build a baby gym, just to tear it down cause it wasn’t up to baby’s standard. Take cute photos and just pick one to go on instagram so that people don’t think I’m too lame. Try to get a smile photo (still unsuccessfully). And a lot of other fun stuff.
I had a headache all day today. And the weather was grey. I think there’s a connection. I was going to see a friend in town but had to cancel. I hate cancelling. I even dreamt about it after. But what can you do.
I went for my post birth check up today. Went well. Although she said I shouldn’t start running until after at least six months. Since we’re going into winter anyway, I guess my running revival will be spring time. I miss running.
It’s been six years since Madeleine McCann disappeared. But it’s still makes me cry when I hear about that night. Yesterday Crimewatch presented new leads and what the UK detectives have come up with in their investigation. We watched parts of it. And when I got up in the night to feed I felt really scared and anxious. I had a nightmare last night as well. I felt like I’d watched a horror movie. But as always – reality beats fiction. I know children fare badly all around the world every day, Madeleine represents them all. HOW, can someone take a child…? How can you not go insane as a parent not knowing what has happened? I hope they find out. Please find her soon. It just makes your stomach turn upside down when you think of all the things that could have happened to her. She’s old enough to contact her parents herself soon, if she’s alive… I just hope her parents find answers soon. It must be a never-ending nightmare. And it must be so frustrating that it’s taken so long to get a proper investigation of the events! How they have fought for their daughter…
As a new parent, these dangers have moved even closer. It’s an evil world. Even if the majority of people wants to live peacefully and safe. The cruel, messed up minority of sick humans are really making the whole world a dangerous and unsafe place. It’s sickening and hard to completely comprehend.
Favorite bed – in dad’s arms. Hope he has a better night tonight than last night when he kept me up unnecessarily much. Resulting in a very tired and emo mum. I laughed so much though in the car home when my mother and Jon had Swedish conversations. Jon was explaining that mum is not family, but a relative. The more irritated mum got, the more Jon teased her. He’d learnt at Swedish For Immigrants that family is people you live with and relatives are all the rest. (what do you think of that though is that right?)
It was funny anyway.
“Du är inte familj, du är släkt” “Nämen fy! Jag känner mig kränkt “
Oh well good night I’m so tired. Crossed eyed tiredness is not just an expression…
As I’ve mentioned I’m trying to make some lasting changes in my diet. I’m very interested in food and the benefits of including/excluding certain things in a diet. I read a lot and discuss it a lot. I am working on finding a non dramatic way of changing my own diet so that it will become a way of life as I’m only implementing what I’ve learnt in waves.
I used to feel so confused about all the contradictory advice given regarding diets. I don’t any more. I feel like I know what is beneficial and why it is. It’s still hard to always follow it, as what we choose to eat isn’t always logical.
So what does this include, my changes? Well in short; I stay away from white carbs, gluten, grains, lactose and sugar as much as I can. I’m not allergic to any of it, but I am convinced I feel better physically and mentally when excluding it. Having said that, there is some cream involved still and there will be cheeses involved in the future, if yet limited. It won’t be a 100% I don’t think, but I want my main food intake to be free from these things.
One of the trickiest thing to change, I find, is breakfast. The best is to eat a breakfast that is like a main meal really, high in protein. But we are so entrenched in our habits in society and most breakfast foods consist of bread, dairy etc. They have a certain structure. So changing this is difficult.
Another tricky thing for me is my snacking. But I know the craving will fade the longer I go without doing it. Snacked tonight though. Ooops. I also find it difficult to eat enough, when eating like this. I should really have protein of like 3 eggs in the mornings – I can’t stomach that! But yeah, I’m sure I’ll find my way soon enough.
I really like cooking and planning food. But obviously with a little one and other commitments it’s hard to get the time to do it properly. It’s the biggest challenge to making these changes – not being able to plan and then slip up because of that. But eventually I will get the thinking and the habit and it will become easier. There’s a lot of fun recipes out on the web now (Paleo, gluten-free etc) and I have rearranged my recipes so that I can access them on my laptop, tablet and mobile. That also helps.
Anyway here’s some examples from the last week of what I’m eating. By the way Zucchini pasta is the best pasta substitute I’ve tried so far. In the past I’ve tried all these carb free noodles and seaweeds, baked my own and what have you not. But I really like Zucchini pasta.
Today Aiden was very unhappy most of the day. It’s so sad to see him completely devastated for no (?) reason, but also very cute because he screams and then he breaks for a few seconds and his mouth goes very frowney with his lower lip sticking out. And then he screams again…
But he’s also slept a lot so I wonder how the night will turn out. He’s started sleeping for quite long stretches during the night. If we could just get him to fine tune these new skills then I’ll be a happy rested Mommy.
Went for a walk today and it started to rain. Well drip. Didn’t get very wet at all actually. I’ve uploaded all my music archive to Google music. But I hadn’t put any songs offline on my mobile so could only listen to Katy Perry’s new single Roar over and over. But that’s ok cause I like it.
Aiden hit a record yesterday and went over 6 hours between feeds. He woke up his first time at 3am something. He didn’t want to go back to sleep after though, he was just lying on the sofa smiling and laughing. As I’ve got a lot of sleep in as well, I wasn’t very tired so could easily sit up with him (not like I had a choice, but you know – I wasn’t a wreck). I tried not to stimulate him to much though, as I’ve read babies shouldn’t connect night time feeding with something fun. For that reason I usually feed in the dark almost and keep it very quite. And rarely change his diaper. Unless there’s a massive poo, cause that can’t be very nice to sleep with. It’s also good to breastfeed in the night for the melatonin levels, as they are produced in darkness and they go over to the breast milk and this is what will help him regulate his sleep until he starts producing it himself.
Anyway, he soon fell asleep this morning and slept for another 3 hours! Shock. And now he’s sleeping again. So after a week of very patchy sleep and cranky Aiden, he’s making up for it. And I’m getting some well deserved long sleeps.
What else? Well I haven’t blogged for a little while again. Don’t know, it’s hard to get going. And hard to find the time naturally. But also, I have a new design in mind, but don’t have the time to work on it. Think I will be really inspired once it’s in place.
I’m slowly working on changing my eating habits. Drastically reduce white carbs, sugar (which is basically two words for the same thing), gluten and dairy. And obviously everything processed. And eat more protein. It’s hard though changing habits, but I’m going to keep trying and remind myself it doesn’t have to be perfect. Every change matters.
I saw Runkeeper have training schedules in their app now and I’m so excited to start running again but not sure when I’ll be ready for it. I’m doing my Olga Rönnberg exercises to get back in contact with muscles again.
It’s been nice days for walks as well, which is good. Even though Jon and I are forcing ourselves out in our afternoon tiredness. But you feel better once you’re out.
Hello! Busy day today. Aiden and I went for his 2 month checkup at the dr’s. He’s still perfect and developing as he should. He he… After that we went to the job centre where I had some things to do. Then we drove to my mum and dad’s and they kindly offered us some food and I went through their attic looking for a lamp and came home with some shelves and stuff – SCORE! Then this afternoon we had a visit from Pernilla, Sebbe and Iris. Iris is walking around a lot now, all of a sudden we see her all happy with Aiden’s dummy in her mouth – so funny! We haven’t seen them for a while as Pernilla has started studying and Sebastian has been away recording an album. But they’re both off at the moment so it was really nice seeing them.
Aiden’s doing fine and he’s so different now. So much more awake, he just wants to “sit” and look around when he’s awake. He smiles and “talks”. He’s a good boy. Jon makes up little songs every day. Like when he’s due a bath…